Once again spent the night somewhere without my medicine. I took 13 melatonin hoping to enter some sort of restful state. Of course it didnt work..I tried to do breathing exercises and other general relaxation methods but nothing. Never nothing.. Now im having the usual withdraw itchyness and having random crying fits while listening to Smart Girls club. Its funny though, I started crying when princess nokia was talking about Afro punk. As much as I have feelings about the fest and them not really giving two fucks about actual punk and diy culture i started crying because i have never been in a space like that. Im living in my own physical and mental hell here. and i always have been and its the only world i really know. i hate playing that game where i pretend like i dont hear some white person saying some fucked up shit so i can work with them/keep a job. and the only other means of work requires me to play into someones racist fantasy. At least around here thats how it works. my body cant navigate through any space i put myself in. im stuck. and im itchy. and im sad. and i want to stop pretending. but thats the only way i can survive.
Anonymous said: whats up
embarrassingly enough, im watching skate videos